Hello for Goodbye

With just over a week left before flying to our Maltese destination, Ts have been crossed and Is dotted in preparation for our time abroad. Now to bunker down and visit family and friends, most of which we haven't seen in nearly a year, and may not again for just as long. A complex process, visiting those we love and care about is, especially when gearing up for a long period away. Trying to schedule the time evenly, and also tracking down those we haven't seen since long before we left has been a challenge, but not the most difficult. It is the leaving, the saying hello so that we may say goodbye. Given, three months isn't really that long to me; it is that those three months are eternity for my daughter.

Taking care to see each loved one in their turn and still preserve the love of the journey she has gained has been difficult. Reminders of "home" and memories from the past have taken a toll on her willingness to leave and excitement for the adventure. The beloved toys at Papa's house, the pool in the backyard, great bear-hugs and cousins to play with all bring back a happiness that is very different from the thrill of travel. It is a sense of belonging. While I have taken for granted my own childhood filled with a certain sense of belonging with those I grew up around, her experience is that the next see she sees her loved ones they look different, and the places change ever so little; it can feel like home is passing by. Like the place she belongs to has less belonging than the people associated with that sense of belonging. Like looking in on a beloved snow globe, but not being able to step inside.

These are symptoms, or thoughts and feelings often described by and about kids who spend a portion of their developing years in cultures different than their home culture. These don't have to be extended periods even--just long enough to make an impact--three months at least. These kids are called TCKs, or Third Culture Kids. Being aware of potential problems, as well as the immense benefits to spending time living abroad, even for as little as three months has given parents an advantage on managing and overcoming this feeling of displacement. Doing a good amount of reading about experiences of kids abroad as well as families living in a continual shift from one country to another, I have been given a peek into their thoughts, feelings, and ideas for opportunities in development for both parents and kids. I hope this type of preparation, in combination with the preparation I have done in regard to culture shock awareness will help me become not only a better traveler, but also a better mother in the coming months and years. As a parent, I do plan on spending as much time abroad as we can for the immense benefits of cultural awareness, I am also aware of the importance of 'home', and hope to create an environment for her to have that, even if 'home' is not the traditional family setting in the suburbs.